(Photo by Nik Shuliahin on Unsplash)
"I don't need therapy, there's nothing wrong with me." Ultimately, I can agree with the second part of that statement but not necessarily the first. Here's why...
When I was working on getting my practicum hours as a trainee, my classmates and I supported each other in finding clients for free counselling sessions. This was a really great opportunity to get real hands-on experience as a trainee, whilst also providing a service to those who cannot access therapy due to financial constraints. In some cases, we were also able to reach those who may not necessarily have considered therapy before, but were curious to know what it entailed and what they might learn about themselves. It was a win-win situation for the therapists and the clients. For me, it also gave me an insight into current attitudes towards therapy.
For those who have had positive experiences of therapy, it is like discovering any new product or service that you want to share with friends. You come away with a felt sense that everyone could benefit with a good dose of therapy. For some, however, there is a felt sense that there must be something "wrong" or "very wrong" with you if you go to therapy. Furthermore, it can be perceived as a weakness to ask for help with whatever it is that is "wrong", and that we must manage our problems ourselves. Such beliefs are entrenched in culture. For example, the British stiff upper-lip stereotype, garnering support through sayings such as "keep calm and carry on" or "soldiering on" conveys the idea that we must suppress emotional concerns and appear strong and unaffected by them. Where do you think those feelings go when we try to suppress them? Well, the answer is they don't have anywhere to go and may re-emerge in unexpected ways. For example, that argument you had with your spouse a few nights ago may be masking an underlying, unresolved and unrelated upset that you had previously. When you realise this, you also come to realise how talking through our upsets is beneficial to all. Over time, we can become more skillful at managing conflicts and upsets in general; and as if by magic, we can improve our relationships with everyone around us!
Fortunately, attitudes towards therapy have been changing over time. Amongst affluent North Americans, having a therapist is almost like a badge of honour showing how well you must be doing in order to afford something deemed by some as a luxury. My observation is that there is still a bit of stigma about therapy on this side of the pond; hence, when I chose my business name, I wanted to emphasize a personal growth mindset and the opportunity to improve rather than the idea that I aim to fix people who are flawed.
So, are you content to keep recycling the same upsets that you have carried with you for years? Or are you ready to be a better version of yourself? There is nothing wrong with wanting to be better.
